OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Randomize