I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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