Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
youre lurking in front of me
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
