big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
