She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I pour the whiskey from now on
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
