Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
