I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
