You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
