Non-Jews are for practice
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
