i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
