So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
