Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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