so explain again why im purple
no
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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