Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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