I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
