So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
Randomize