i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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