Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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