From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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