Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
