Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry lflo29 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(952): View more from Minnesota

history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.

Fav 17 6768 1318
share tweet
(609): View more from New Jersey

I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.

Fav 27 5167 1565
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(516): View more from New York

the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.

Fav 24 1643 7579
share tweet
(519): View more from Ontario

Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.

Fav 8 2463 1338
share tweet
(416): View more from Toronto

When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons

Fav 5 2041 852
share tweet
(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat

Fav 7 1962 1197
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(651): View more from Minnesota

I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.

Fav 9 2827 935
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(901): View more from Tennessee

I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.

Fav 3 1228 558
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!

Fav 0 53 23
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT