I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
