you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
My balls are so social today.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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