It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
