So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
