I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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