i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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