Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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