my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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