Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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