im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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