I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
