cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
