he puts the penis in happiness.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
time to smoke my breakfast
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
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