It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
