I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
worst night to have a conscience
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
