Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
