Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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