I can't watch pbs sober anymore
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
