When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
