You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Randomize
