we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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