"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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