I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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