It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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