3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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