The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
