This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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