Having a random hookup so left but love u
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
