we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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