so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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