I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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