haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I would ride that face into the sunset
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
