there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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