I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize