Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
