that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
