we're blogging at a bar
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
