just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
