glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
