My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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